I'm a bit tired of being home, even though I've only been here for a few weeks.  I'm not practicing, nor am I eating eggs on toast with the South African chili spices that I like.  I want to see the new X-Men movie - I always thought those were some of the best superhero movies out there, and this most recent one looks excellent.  The family is good.  It's nice to participate in gatherings again and see my siblings when I like.  There are people around, I guess, who I could get a hold of and hang out with, but I don't give a fuck to see any of them at all.  Anyone I care about is either in another state or the middle of nowhere in Ohio... 

The other night I went for a walk in the neighborhood behind my house, thinking about life and love and death and old friends.  I smoked as I walked, and found it surprisingly easy to breathe in the cool night air as I paced about the still new sidewalks, surrounded by small trees that won't look nice for another 40 years.  I passed a big house with a big garage and a nice front yard, the porch light lit brightly to deter burglars.  It was my good friend's house once, but not these days.  There was a mean dog in the front yard that made for me but was stopped short by one of those invisible dog fences, as evidenced by a sign in the yard.  I stood there, puffing my smoke, and stared at the animal for a few long moments, almost taunting it.  For a second I thought he would brave the shock and come get me, because God knows he wanted to.  Wanted to lock down around my neck, cut off my wind and taste my flesh, as if to say he was tired of the taunting and still had the sharper teeth.  I got bit once as a youngling, right around my ankle.  I thought it had punctured my artery, but I healed and got over it - no big deal.  They are sharp, though.  I like dogs.  Dogs that have character and personality.  And dogs that listen and will sit and look you in the eye while you lay down the law or dish out punishment, and stay when you tell them to do so.  Dogs like this stupid mongrel who barked and shit all over deserve nothing from me. 

working outdoors is treating me well.  i like the sun, even if it is rough on my skin at times.  i've finally got a handle on the heartburn/stomach situation, and am feeling pretty good.  maybe working so much has my mind on other things, or maybe the medicine is actually working.  the summer is, eh, boring to put it simply.  my parents are my friends and i go to bed way too early.  i'm not drinking, not smoking, and playing video games all too often.  the square habit seems to have taken over once again, for which i have much regret, but being outside in the nice weather all day makes it hard.  excuses...

i miss my friends who dot the earth's landscape - colorado, iowa, afghanistan, illinois, south africa - places like that.  i hope everyone is doing well and loving life.

i haven't practiced enough since returning home, which i kind of foresaw, but i need to keep my chops up to par so i don't go back to school sounding like a chump (goal for the summer: use 'chump' more often).  I've been working out a little bit, but coming home after 8 hours of manual labor makes me skip it more often than not.  the work i'm doing is exercise enough.  excuses...

note(s) to self: lay off the soda, be barefoot as often as possible, practice, and wear my cowboy hat regularly.

peace be the journey.